Revisiting “Hopeless” Dreams

Last summer while I was at home with my baby, I realized I had “hopeless” dreams.  As Phoenix became more and more independent, I decided to revisit these dreams.  I call them “hopeless” because, in our heads, we all feel that way about our biggest dreams, either directly or indirectly.  We either tell ourselves we can never be good enough to achieve our dreams, or we actually think we aren’t good enough. Guess what, you’re not alone, everyone has those thoughts: EVERYONE.  Well I’m here to tell you, you are good enough, you can achieve those dreams.

In my case, I learned HTML and CSS as a freshman in high school, a school where those skills were not valued.  I thought I was not good enough to code, that I could never be a tech geek, because my childhood taught me to believe I wasn’t good enough; I wasn’t smart enough.  So I stopped learning code and moved on to the next thing I thought the world would approve of me doing. I stuck to the arts because I was very interested and because I had won a a UIL competition in 4th grade by the name of Art Memory.  I bet you can guess what that entails.  But I never realized that creative process and the arts can be portrayed in many unexpected ways, and in many unexpected technical professions. 

So last summer I decided if I wanted my daughter to believe in herself, I had to believe in myself.  I literally had to live by example to show her she can achieve her dreams.  Naturally I started with my coding skills because it was the one skill I truly believed I wasn’t smart enough to even begin to master.  I began to learn PHP and before long I started my own business, Phoenix Rizing, as a freelance WordPress developer.  It has been a great adventure for the last year, and every project has new twists and unique challenges, but I realized something along the way.  I was creating, I was helping small businesses and entrepreneurs convey their products in an artistic way.  I was literally translating their thoughts and hopes and dreams into a work of art.

Now, my business brings me great pleasure, but I wont’ stop there, and I am ready for the next step in my career.  I am ready to learn more skills and gain more experience I never thought I could learn, because I CAN.  Every time I remind myself that I can do anything, that I can learn anything, I discover a new revelation that changes my perception of life and boundaries.  This round, it’s that my business isn’t a failure if I decide I want to continue to learn and progress my career in other areas as well, so I can change the world on a bigger scale.

I always try to live my life by my university’s motto: “What starts here changes the world.” Until recently I thought that applied to other students at my university, the ones who are already successful in life.  Then I recognized that my destructive thoughts are the only thing holding me back, and they won’t hold me back any longer.  I do have something to contribute to this world that will change it for the better, (hopefully it’s Star Trek Next Gen better), and so do YOU.

If you ever need a helping hand, or word of encouragement, please do reach out.  I would love to connect.

Wishes of Happiness!

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